Acrossthebarline

August 25, 2009

Fur Elise-Audio Earwig

Filed under: Uncategorized — improviz @ 1:24 AM


You may or may not know this thing by name. If you do, I’m sure the mere mention of it will immediately induce a pounding headache, starting in the sinus area and moving swiftly to the top of your head. If not, head over to Youtube and torture yourself (my lawyers have told me to add: “I say that with all good intentions”).

This Beethoven Bagatelle in A ‘minor’ (he said it, not me) has been subjected to more abuse than Dr. No’s cat; more than Chaplin’s butt in “The Kid;” enfin, more than George Bush’s speechwriters. It has become the centerpiece of every collection of “relaxing” classical music, with its nearest competitor, the dreaded Pachelbel Canon in D Major, a distant second.

There are 50 pages of youtube versions, including ringtones, electronica, Fur Elise played on Dinner Glasses, How to Play Fur Elise on Piano (Parts 1 to infinity) and just for good measure-Fur Elise, Hendrix Style, which I tried to listen to. I found that the only palatable audio level for the thing is “mute.”

Rapper Nas indulges in a little Fur Elise-iana in “I Can.” We like that the message is not the usual bullcrap, and the fact that he doesn’t beat the sample to death, as so much hip hop does. Still, the downdraft from the Fur Elise sample is palpable.

This is the first instrumental I’ve covered, and I can’t beat up the lyrics, so get busy out there, hacks and hackesses and crank out some doggerel for this thing. If you’re at a loss for inspiration, I wouldn’t worry. Just remove your brains, get a hold of Paul Anka’s rhyming dictionary, set the mixer to puree and voila!

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2 Comments »

  1. STEVE, Hey!A suggested correction: The dreaded Pachelbel Canon is in D Major…a minor note!Now to the classic, iconic, piece whose only palatable audio level is mute:How 'bout we invert that beautiful two note intro and send it down about three octaves. . . theme from "Jaws"(!?)

    Comment by Mr Ed — August 26, 2009 @ 5:39 PM

  2. Yeow-how could I do that-just for a cheap joke? And Jaws-only the great E.M. ears could hear it!

    Comment by Steve — August 27, 2009 @ 1:12 AM


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